La Cucuracha!

Some of you may have noticed my new Facebook status. It reads "times like this, I wish I had a boyfriend. Times like this."

So, as mentioned in my previous blog, I take a personal day today. I passed it by watching a movie, doing minimal work from home and looking for part time jobs. This is a recession and if Im going to keep up my dirty habits, Imma need some extra cash flow.

Sometime around noon, I decide the least I can do is clean the house for Rachel. I decide to start in the kitchen, first filling up my glass of water. "OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT!" La cucuracha the size of Dani's big toe.

Sidenote: I have recently learned that La Cucuracha is spanish for cockroach. I find this interesting. So the childrens song I sang growing up was about a goddamn cockroach.

Sidenote 2: In my college days, we gave Dani's feet the nickname "booger pickin' toes." They are long, boney, slender and pretty much resemble a a chickenfoot.

Ok back to the roach in my kitchen. Petrified, I decide I need to flush it down the toilet like I normally do. Ugh yes, I do this normally. I grab the dustpan and throw it down next to La Cucuracha only to find all of its legs start squirming for dear life.

This brings me to my dilemma. Do I try to scoop it up taking chances that it may flip itself over, run its big toed looking ass toward my face and bite me, giving me a terrible flesh eating disease that I die from in an hour. OK Overdramatic I know but what would you do?

So now I am sitting on the couch typing this. Raquel is on her way home and has already informed me of her massive PMS. Im scared times two! I need to get this cockroach and I need to get him fast! I have 15 minutes. Back to square 1. Say a prayer....

I just tried again. I ended up screaming and ran out the front door. Its legs are moving in double time now. I cant squish it. The crunch sound will make me throw up. My heart is in overtime too.

Did I kick it and not realize and that's why its belly up? Jesus. What if it flips itself over and runs away. How can I sleep knowing that its in my house somewhere...in my bed...at my feet. Im freakin out! Does anyone care!?!?!? I have approximately 3 minutes before my roommate comes home.

Oh and the neightbors arent home. I checked when I ran out the front door like a sissy.

I have now placed a cup over it. So if, in fact, it does turn itself over it now cannot attack me in my sleep.

Seriously, look at your thumb (Dani - your toe) its that long. No joke. No exaggeration necessary.