"Dude, What happened to your face?"

Happy Earth Week! I decided to kick off the start of Earth Week celebrating in the correct way. Three of my girlfriends and I meet at Federal Triangle, dressed in workout attire with a full picnik lunch on our backs. Our plan was to rent bikes and complete a self guided tour of the monuments. $25 bones for the entire day!

We began at the Washington Monument. The day was absolutely gorgeous and my expectations were high. Immediately, I am taken aback by the beauty of our Nation's Capitol and have never been so proud to be a DC resident. We travel to the Lincoln, Jefferson, WWII, walk through the Depression memorial (not so depressing!)and somehow end up in Arlington Cemetery.

Feeling a little tired, we find a romantic spot for our picnik lunch. We all enjoy a nice glass of organic wine (it comes in a neat recycled carton), several types of international cheeses, and finger sandwiches. After soaking up the rays for a couple hours, we decide to head on back (I am redder than a fire ant at a picnik on a hot summer's day ).

I was enjoying the last leg of the tour when tragedy suddenly ensues. Directly in front several crowds of tourists surrounding the monument, my bike skids, slips on some gravel and rockets me towards the concrete. It sort of reminded me of getting thrown from a horse; much like my sister did when I used to drive her to her riding lessons. Luckily my FACE broke the fall and I slid about 5 feet along the pavement.

The first thought that goes through my mind other than "Am I alive?" is THANK GOD I checked the "Yes I would like a helmet" box on the security waiver or I 'd probably be even more brain damaged than I already am.
My injuries involve:

1. A busted face. My chin has a large scab from the pavement across the entire thing. I am self concious about it because it is also very swollen and bruised. When I was a freshman in HS, Colin Loughlin told me I had a "Jay Leno Chin." Now probably even more so. I still hate him for that.

2. A busted right shoulder. My shoulder also has a large scrape/scab mark and my rotator cuff is pretty sore from the impact - much like whiplash in a car wreck.

3. My right breast - also mangled. I am assuming that upon inpact the concrete shoved my sports bra down. Was I exposed?

4. The worst is my knee. It is swollen to the size of a golf ball and hurts to walk.

On Earth Week, the Earth and I most definitely threw some boes but I kicked Earths ass. Here's why. Sometimes when life pushes you down you just gotta get back up and keep goin'. Thats what I did. After taking a short breather, putting the chain back on my bike, straightening out the front wheel and trying not to burst into tears. I got back on and I finished the race. Take that Earth! I don't go down without a fight mutherfucker.

My FML point. I was totally ready to go into mayjah groupie mode on Friday...get some dirty, bearded rock-n-rolla ass BUT I look like the victim of a domestic dispute. If I do achieve my goal of meeting K.O.L. they'll probably just ask me the same question that EVERYONE has asked me since the incident "Dude, what happened to your FACE?"