A Shit-aaay Situation.

Now I need to vent. Someone is about to seriously go down here. Just for ONE day, I would like a normal bathroom experience but some fucking dipshit over at the office next door keeps royally ruining it for me.

I drink alot of coffee and water throughout the day so I go pretty regularly. I would also like to add that our porters (fancy term for janitors) clean this restroom every two hours. YET on several trips throughout the day I find piss all over the toilet seat, all over the floor surrounding the toilet and random pubic hairs in the general vacinity. There are sometimes vomit stains also. If that's not enough to make a gal toss their cookies, then I dont know what will.

The worst part is I have come to take a few seconds to decide if I can stomach to clean it for this particilar use or venture to another restroom. Most of the time I wipe the seat (if there are no hairs) and continue on with my business. If I am wearing pants, I abort the mission completely. I have learned on one too many occasion that piss rimmed pant legs don't make for a comfortable afternoon.

Why not use another restroom you ask? This is the only one on my floor. The issue is that my favorite restroom is unisex. In an ideal world, I would lightniing bolt myself up the stairs to the next floor and use the facilites there. The problem is there is a gate that only allows people to come down and not up. So no stair option.

I turn and press the button to the service elevator. The office joke is that the people on the bottom rung of the ladder use this elevator. In a similar fashion to the help using the back door. GODDAMMIT, this takes forever. By now, I am usually dancing. Some Porter, Engineer, Contractor, Mailman must be blocking it.

So I book it to the main lobby with a panic look on my face. The Concierge always gives me a wierd look. I press the button to go up and wait...wait...wait. Its lunchtime which constitutes high elevator usage. I am praying to GOD I make it.

Anyway, one should not have to go through this in their work environment. It is stressful and I am really surprised I have not developed any kidney disorders at this point. I KNOW who the culprit is. Yes, I know it's you, you short little indian man. Your office and mine are the only ones with a key. I know you piss all over the place, NEVER lift the damn seat and I have been told on more than one occasion you dont wash your hands (I use paper towels to open the door and kick it shut with a swift jujitsu of the foot). This is a Class A fucking building and we are now paying our porters OT to clean up your mess. This should not be one of my main concerns throughout the work day. So in conclusion, I am literally in a "shitty" situation. haha get it? A shitty situation....